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 Heavy's Acid Bath Stories

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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Sun Oct 17, 2010 10:16 pm

I have 9 of these stories but i am not going to release them all at once, i will release them a few days apart, if you want all 9 and cant wait for me to post them all PM me and i will send them to you

***The last time i posted these, i received a few messages asking me for more details on the stories. I did NOT write these, these are Heavy's Stories, i just saved them for a rainy day. enjoy...

First story: The day we realised RON was a bigger prick than we thought.


It was the end of the Acid Bath, D.R.I. tour with the last show being at the Wiskey A-Go-Go in California. Yes the same show that is now on the DVD that most of you own.
We decided since we are just a few miles from the record lable ( which was actualy just a condo Ron lived in) that we would stop by and see how good the record sales where from the tour. Which by contract we had the right to do.
So we arrived at a gas station about 5 blocks from the lable and called to make sure some one was there. Ron's little TARD worker answered the phone and told us Ron was not home but to come by and he would be back shortly.
So we headed on over in the bus and parked it in the parking lot just outside of Ron's Garage.
Ron's worker was just leaving in his car saying he was going out but to "Hang tite" as Ron would be back shortly.
So he leaves, leaving the garage door open!!!
So here we are waiting....and waiting...and waiting.
Next thing you know two cop cars come pulling in yelling for us to get up against the wall!!!
We where like, hey whats going on?????
The cop said he got a call saying we had broke into the garage of the record lable!!!!
We where shocked to say the least. And started explaining that we where signed to the lable and had just stopped by to see how record sales where going since we had just finished a complete U.S. tour!!
Then we asked well who called you guys anyways?
The cop points to the front door and says HE DID!
And who do you suppose was standing at the door in his PJ's????

You guessed it Ron "PEON" Peterson himself!!!
What a total Cocksmokin faggot!

He had it all planned out telling his worker to tell us he would be right back then hiding in the house and purposly leaving the garage door open to set us up, saying we where stealing stuff out of his garage!!!

The cops searched the bus and couldn't find a single thing on the bus from his garage!...Why would we steal our own shit????

Ron being the little BITCH that he is wouldn't even come out of the house and talk to us!
And we ended up being escorted to the city limits by the cops and told "Go home to Louisiana and don't come back"

That was the day we knew Ron Peterson was the biggest PRICK in the world!!


Last edited by PaEGaN on Sun Oct 17, 2010 10:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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HellfirE
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Sun Oct 17, 2010 10:45 pm

awesome bang
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Doomchild
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Mon Oct 18, 2010 7:04 am

yeahthat
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:23 pm

Story number 2: Seconds from Disaster

We where hanging out just north of San Fransisco Ca. we had an extra day to kill before having to be at the next show so we got the O'l road map out and looked for something cool to do.
We decided to go check out Muir Woods Park (sp?) I think that was what it was called Muir something anyway.
So we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge heading North after paying the HIGH cost of crossing the bridge!!! WOW i don't know how people can stomach paying so much to cross a bridge just to get to work!!!
The park was one of the first couple of exits across the bridge and had a cool view of the Bay and ocean.
Dax's brother Jody happend to be our designated Driver for this paticular tour! So We head into the park and take the senic tour around the park and up over the top of the mountain. By the way the sign at the beginning of the road said something like.....CAUTION ONLY VEHICLES UNDER 38 FEET!
Which we where only at 35 so Woo-Hoo lets go for it!!!
So Jody takes the 69 Ford School Bus up the road. First turn a little tight but not to bad!
Then every turn after that became tighter and tighter!!!! Up and down and threw the mountains. If you where looking out the front window when the bus was making the hairpin turns all you saw was Solid Rock inches away from the front of the bus till you cleared the corner!!!
What started as a cool sight seeing trip soon turned into a white knuckle ride from Hell with every one cheering as we succsessfully made each turn!
When we finally made it out of the park we found ourselfs in some small town, we where going down this street and Jody says"Hey Heavy, do you feel that"? "It feels like something is loose"
So we find a place to pull over and get out to inspect the Bus and try to determine what is wrong with it.
I take one side and Jody the other....All of a sudden i hear.... "HOLY SHIT"!!!
So i run around to the other side of the bus and find Jody looking at a rim that has Totaly wore the lug holes out to about 4 inches long!!!!
How those dually tires on that side stayed on was Clearly a miracle especialy after just going threw all those Gnarly turns in that park!!!
If they would of came off in that park we all would of been dead for sure!!

We ended up finding this Automotive School that fixed it up for us!! Lucky doesn't even begin to describe, what happend that day!!
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Draugr
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:06 am

I am so happy someone had the foresight to save these gems. Paegan for the win!
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:57 pm

STORY 3: Friday the thirteenth!

Mike and Jimmy and I where on our way from morgan city to houma to pick up Dax to head to a show in Little Rock Arkansas, I believe there is a poor quality recording that is way out of sync floating around the internet of this show or at least the first song anyways.
Anyways we where about half way to Dax's house when all of a sudden out of no where something hits the windshield and shatters the right side!!
I slam on the brakes and we pull over to the side of the road to see what it was.
We all pile out and start looking for what had hit the windshield????
Jimmy says "hey is that a feather stuck to the windshield"????
Me and Mike both said what bird in its right mind would be flying around neer midnight on friday the thirteenth?
So we get in the bus and back up to where it hit the windshield and start looking around...And there it was!
A huge fuckin OWL!!! He was still holding a Crawfish in his left claw and was still partially alive!!
Nearest we could figure was, he had caught a Crawfish in the ditch next to the road and when the bus came by it scared him and he flew right into the widshield.
We tried the O'l throw him in the air and see if he fly's to check if he was gonna make it, but everytime he just hit the ground with a thud!!

So we put him out of his mysery with a hammer and whent on to Dax's House.

That wasn't the first time a Bird flew into the Bus....But thats another story!!
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:28 am

lol
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beautiful downgrade
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:53 am

bananallama These are awesome. Thanks for sharing.
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:10 pm

STORY 4: THE GREAT PIERREPART MICROWAVE CONSPIRACY!


It all started with us bringing Mike's Uncle Yance ( pronounced Yauncie) along on the road to help drive the bus. Yance is what you would call, or what is called in Louisiana a COONASS.
A Coonass for those of you who do not know what one is, or have never witnessed this natural occurrence. Is a person who lives deep on the Bayou and drives a boat to work, get groceries, school, etc. They very seldom own cars as they prefer to take a boat every where they go. They will often only where white Shrimpin boots or just go barefoot. Talk with a Heavy southern Cajun drawl and sometimes even just speak there own version of French, if they really want to confuse you. And usually only eat what they KILL, except for the occasional hunny bun from the local store.
Yance had never been out of the State of Louisiana and very seldom ever left his small town of Pierrepart. So of course he was a natural decision for driving the bus on a national tour...DOH!
He did surprisingly well, give him a map, some smoke, and a case of Hunny Buns and he was good to go. Although he did get us pulled over for the only time in the history of us being on tour! It was the D.R.I. + Acid Bath tour, we where in Jacksonville Fla. Playing at a club in the basement of a downtown highrise. We had to pull up onto the sidewalk like everyone else was doing to load our equipment. So when we left, Yance decided since we are right on the corner he would just pull right out on to the adjoining street. Well there was a cop watching us and pulled us over for running a red light. Yance says I'll take care of this guy. So the cop comes up to the door and says O.K. you know why I pulled you over? To which Yance replied in Cajun French, the most fucked up jibberish you ever heard in your life!
The cop just stood there stunned to say the least. There must have been a good 10 seconds of very awkward silence both from Yance and the Cop. Then Mike pipes up and says, Sorry officer but he doesn't speak English and this is the first time he has ever left Louisiana, he says he is sorry and it won't happen again.
The cop just walked away, got in his car all dumbfounded and drove away!!
We fuckin laughed our asses off.
So on to the story of the Pierrepart Microwave Conspiracy!
Once a week we would give Yance some Bonus Cash. Which he would use to buy himself a big dinner. Usually on a Friday. Well we all woke up one Saturday morning heading down the highway Yancy behind the wheel, just happy as could be smoking a fatty and driving away. As we each woke up we where over come with the smell of a Hot Fish dinner with all the fixin's, even down to some sort of awesome smelling chocolate cake! We All started to get hungry and each commented on this smell but couldn't determine where the hell it was coming from. We all started snooping around looking for a box of leftovers, but couldn't find shit.
We where stumped and starving from this wonderful smell permeating threw the bus.
Meanwhile Yance is just drivin away like nothings happening.
We pull over in a gas station and all pile out and go inside to get some poor gas station food. We come back to the bus and here is Yance Eating the most delicious smelling and looking food you ever saw! HOT TOO!
Mike says Hey where the Fuck did you get that? And how did you heat it up?
To which Yancy reached over to his side and opened the cover to the buss's heating unit, which was located on the left side of the driver, and says with a laugh, I used my Pierrepart Microwave Bra!
We used that Coonass Microwave for the rest of the tour! Every time you wanted a Hot Pocket or anything else warmed up you just tossed it on up to Yancy to throw it in the microwave for a few to warm it up LOL

That's why it says in the thanks on the PTT cover: thanks to Yance ( and the great Pierrepart microwave conspiracy)
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:13 pm

grinno
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:23 pm

hahah, these are awesome
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:57 pm

lmao
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Doomchild
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:58 am

lol2
That's just grand!
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KimmieRae70
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:37 pm

these are really great, dude...thanks for taking the time to type 'em up. Hey, ya know that PTT you mention in the other thread?? did Rotten press it?
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:41 pm

i didnt type shit, i copied and pasted from the old forum and yes rotten released the remasters, sucking all the life they can out of acid bath
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KimmieRae70
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:47 pm

oh...ok
:|

still, thanks

I hate buying from RR, but have done it several times out of necessity. This is gonna be one of em..
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Draugr
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:34 pm

PaEGaN wrote:
i didnt type shit, i copied and pasted from the old forum and yes rotten released the remasters, sucking all the life they can out of acid bath
horns
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HellfirE
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:18 am

does anyone know who heavy is? i thought someone said a while back that he was their sound guy, but im not sure. Draugr? u know? sometime i wish i didnt smoke so much ouch
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Draugr
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:25 am

I thought he was sound/merch type dude.
Anyone have the Paegan Remaster they want to send my way??
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:45 pm

Story 5: A "Shitty" experience.

Once while on tour we stopped at a gas station to get some food and so Audie could use the bathroom to take a shit. Audie went inside to use the bathroom and buy a couple of things from the store. Mike and Sammy and I also got off of the bus to use the bathroom and noticed that the bathrooms where on the side of the building so we decided to use them before Audie got a chance to stink them up. There was 2 stand up pissers and a shitter in the bathroom, so the three of us went on in to use them. Me and Sammy got the stand ups and Mike went to use the shitter, when Mike opened the door, we here him say "HOLY SHIT"! "Audie ain't gonna be happy about this"!
So we take a look at what he was looking at.
We immediately started laughing our asses off!!
Some one had taken a shit in there and totaly missed the bowl on purpose!!! Shocked There was fucking shit stuck everywhere even on the WALL!! Laughing Glue Head Laughing We could barely contain ourselfs! You would of had to of known how ANAL Audie was about cleanliness to apreciate how funny this was gonna be when he entered the bathroom to take a shit and saw that!
We hurried back on the bus and watched Audie come out of the Gas station and make his way into the bathroom.
We had to put the windows up on the bus because we where laughing so fucking hard we had tears coming out!!
You see him go in the bathroom, door closes.....then a few seconds later it opens up with Audie standing there with the most Disgusted and pissed off look you ever seen on a person in your life!! We all started laughing even harder...If that was even possible!!!
He comes back on the bus and demands we take him to the next nearest gas station so he can take a shit!!!
We must of laughed for fucking days over that one!!!LOL Still laughing every time i think of that look on his face when he came out of the bathroom!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:48 am

lol2
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Draugr
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:29 am

lol2 horns
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PaEGaN

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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Mon Oct 25, 2010 10:54 pm

I think this next story is about Draugr.  
I was suppose to go to this show but plans fell through and i didn't make it down there, there is a track from this show on the double live bootleg dvd.


Story 6: FAMOUS WANKER

We did a show at the place where they hold the Milwaukee Metal Fest.
And stayed across the street at the Ambassador Hotel. We where just getting back to our room after the gig and had scammed a few beers to bring back to the hotel. I believe it was about two a piece. Woo-Hoo gonna get blitzed.....NOT!!
So we are sitting in the room drinking our beers and figuring out which route to take to the next gig. Piece of shit hotel with no A.C. so we had the windows open.
The room we had was on the 4th floor, facing an apartment building across the side street from the hotel.
We hear some people get out of a vehicle and you can tell they are obviously drunk and having a good time so we go over to the window and give them the old Woo-Hoo out the window to which they respond with some hoots and hollers of their own.
That's when i noticed it!!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked
I said to MIKE is that guy in that apartment doing what i think he is ?????

MIKE: YEP! He's Jerkin it pretty hard!

Here was this fuckin Faggot across the way with nothing but a pair of black socks on, crankin his wanker but good. Laughing
We yelled across the road: YOU FUCKIN FAGGOT!!!!
He looked at us and waved!!!
So we go back to drinking our beers and a couple hours later Mike looks back out the window and says....Man that guy is still going at it!!

He must of Jerked that fuckin thing for 5-6 hours non stop!! Shocked

So a couple of years later we where on tour with Cannibal Corpse and we where telling them this story and before we could finish one of them says...OH YOU MEAN THE GUY WITH THE BLACK SOCKS ACROSS THE STREET THAT JERKS OFF TO EVERYONE IN THE HOTEL???? Shocked
HE'S BEEN DOING THAT FOR YEARS!!! EVERYONE HAS SEEN HIM!! Shocked

Little did we know this guy fucking gets his jolleys off by jerking off to anyone who will watch him from the hotel.
And we found out that pretty much everyone who has ever stayed at the Ambassador has seen this guy do his "Thing" joo

In fact Jimmy has some footage of this guy, from that first tour......fucking priceless! Puke
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:33 am

I lost those Black socks and never jerked off again.
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PostSubject: Re: Heavy's Acid Bath Stories   Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:34 am

HAHAHAHA!
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